17 02 2008

i think my church hates me. ya sounds paranoid i know. but i really think so. for d uninformed, here’s a brief intro.

fgt. short for full gospel tabernacle. founded in 1980 (i think). has an eagle in its logo. u could call it a big/huge/mega church. and like all big/huge/mega churches, the bigger they get the more rules come into play.

now i’ve been playing bass for close to 10 years already and i’ve yet to b even talked to about playin on d sunday meetings. dun get me wrong. i’m not diein2play on sunday. it just amazes me that i havent been talkd to about it ever.

now. i think my church hates me. basically bcoz all of d reasons i can think of why i havent been talkd to have all been answered.

  1. i havent been in church for long enough – i’ve seen 1 too many ppl cut into my line from serving on a sunday.
  2. i dont have the skill – well, i know i’m not that good at the bass. but i do think that i’m good enough. besides, my church almost never emphasizes on the skills and always on the heart. which pisses me off a lot. but thats another story.
  3. i’m not holy enough – not to b putting others down, but i don’t think i’m that unholy. despite all the razor ramon actions i frequently do, i’m pretty decent in church. besides, its all about the heart right?
  4. i dont come for meetings – well i have2admit i’ve been missing meetings a little more frequently these days. but what about the years that i’ve nvr missed a meeting? it seems that churches give absentiesm more leniently to working adults compared to students. just because they work, they’re allowed to miss meetings more than us students. i guess they tend to forget that i live 30km away from church n that i pay for my own petrol.
  5. they hate me – yes. this is the only thing thats left on the list.

it seems that there’s only 2 ways i might b able to get myself onto the sunday list.

  1. quite youth. graduate. go to young adults – with this, i would have the trump card to be absent from meetings
  2. become a super youth – the only characteristic i can see in the ppl that have overtaken me is that they are super servers in church and youth meetings. i guess then that it is really true. drivers are quite underappreciated. they only notice u when u cant pick ur load up. not the months u’ve driven from shah alam to cyberjaya so much so that at 1 time my petrol allowance was totally dedicated to fetching ppl to church.

it sucks to be me. in fgt.




12 responses

18 02 2008


it happens…. and there’s imperfection in the most ‘perfect’ churches.

Let’s get Oneted out of the box, and into the joints:)

µ:zician: yeah well… always knew my church wasnt perfect. just kept giving them the benefit of the doubt. i may b wrong though. He may be freeing up my time to concentrate more on Oneted and BTS =P i nvr know… heh

18 02 2008

It’s always hard for radical Christians to live… Sigh.

But is it not you who have made the decision to counter-culture, even the culture and traditions of Christianity?

And I doubt that they hate you. It is more probable that they fear you. It’s always about the mysterious factor. And unpredictability helps too.

I recommend a book with the title “The Church-Case Scenario: How to Survive and Thrive in Church.” Good read. I can go pinjam and lend to you if you want to. 🙂

µ:zician: well i wouldnt call myself radical. i just dont do it the way my church does it. but thx for the compliments on myself, tho i am undeserving. book eh? me and books aren’t really the best of pals… come c all the dust on my bookshelf =P

18 02 2008
victor will thrash lenard

well…it’s like dat sometimes….but make the best out of it when ur given the chance…Fooo~

µ:zician: nice name. might kill u. but nice name 😉

18 02 2008

juz be urself and leave the rest to Him! =)

and stop harrassing ppl. maybe it can help in making other stop hating u =P keke…

µ:zician: mmm… now tat u mention it. jay sern IS in my church… hmm…

18 02 2008

i smell politics in ur church…corrupts nya…

µ:zician: nah not politics. i’m just not “singing their song” 😉

18 02 2008

well, people come and go. maybe He’s called you for something bigger since you’ve been playing the bass in church for almost 10 years.

Hang in there. Could get worse. Let’s hope not. 🙂

µ:zician: mmm… maybe i’ll become the next desmond… “i think cf is good enough for me. its like a church already wat” hehehe =]

18 02 2008

heh… i dont like that too. Frustrating it is. Maybe you’re meant to play out of the church building. 🙂

µ:zician: yeah maybe. tats the only positive thing i can think of =]

18 02 2008

I suggest you confront your Church leaders to clarify matters, rather than speculate about it.

Sure, it’s fun speculating, but I think watching people squirming to give an answer is much more enjoyable.

µ:zician: mmm… i have no such joy in that =D

19 02 2008
Victor FMC

hahaha dun care la…play for church sometimes damn mafan wan…dun play for church nevermind….the pastor hate you nevermind….the music leader hate you nevermind…the other bassists all hate you also nevermind….because…..God already saw your heart la bro…he booked you to play in heaven dee….100,000 seatings+a truckload of angel groupies….ambil tu….

on a different note, you can….

1) screw your church and attend another church
2) boycott your church
3) badmouth your church
4) play for the devil (dave grohl) hahha
5) sulk and pout and quit playing the bass and focus on playing the marijuana box in your house…..

hahahahah just kidding la….

µ:zician: mmm… angel groupies u say? mmm… =P

29 02 2008

the rules 4 tht church is attend all meetings tht has been provided n come consistently.. if those ppl/newcomer come n see tis guy play for sunday meeting n does not come regular ,,they would also fell that anyone can come n play. All musician has to as it were to lead the front line of the battle…. and to usher the presence of god..The meetings tht have been provided is to equip u up to be a better christian n soul winner…And if u dont come regularly how r u going to learn…Character and Behaviour also play a big role too..

µ:zician: well, obviously u dont know how regular i am in church then =D

6 03 2008

How regular you are in church does not mean anything…

Let me throw you an example:
A situation based statement (does not implying you):
What make you so different if you go to church so regularly and sleep during service so regularly…

You can be so regular, but always late to service…

Get the point?

Based on the comments written by you, you sounded more like a big headed guy instead.

With your so called friends who consistently fuming the issue and boasting your ego, that does not help much in your spiritual life either.

If you are in the working world, going to work late is an issue.
Out of 5 working days, 3 days you are late.
You can still talk to your boss, stating that you are regular at work just late only -mar.
Do you think your boss will grant you a promotion?

Think carefully.

Would that be your own attitude issue? =)

µ:zician: thx for ur lengthy and insightful comment mr anon. if that is your real name. somehow i feel like u might b someone who actually knows me but somehow u feel the need to cover up your identity, but i guess i’ll give u the benefit of the doubt =]

i’m not goin to list down to u all the things i have done for church, or anything like that to defend myself because i think u’ve already assumed that i am the one who is wrong here. not a bad assumption, seeing that i’m being compared to the likes of a church.

all i simply did was brought up a topic that was bothering me, and i guess the “christian” inside you saw it as an opportunity to point out the wrongs that you think are there in me. and somehow in your eyes, without any knowledge of me whatsoever, u immediately know somehow or other that i am big headed and mostly late for church? now i thought christians aren’t suppose to judge?

just think about it mr anon. have u given me a fair say in this? or is my first assumption of you wrong? do u in fact know me in real life?

p/s: if u’ve ever wondered why some ppl dont come to church, i think its because of judgemental ppl. almost like u i’d say. though u’re not the worst i’ve seen 😉

p/s2: leave my friends out of this, will u? =]

10 03 2008

Heh. Anon reminds me of someone who once talked to me.

Of how he assumed he knows me just from a few exchange of words.

It was about my hobby of visiting a different church ONCE IN A WHILE just to experience different church culture.

He mentioned something about the necessity of being deeply rooted in one church, which I totally agree with.
And I respect him for trying to explain to me that church hopping is bad, which I totally agree with.

But what he didn’t understand is that I work with friends who are from different denomination, and what better way is to understand them than experiencing their world first hand?

Tried to tell him that I’ve been in my church for 3 years already, which is refuted with, well, something like what Anon said, saying that it shows nothing.

And at that point, I realise that it’s totally useless to justify myself, and I refrained from telling him about my extra-job-in-cf-and-double-life, because no matter what I say, he would have refuted it.

Again, I agree that his point are not incorrect, but it was his attitude of i-think-i-know-you-more-than-i-actually-do that hurt me. I understand that as a leader, his job is not easy, and that his arguments are not inaccurate, but he presented them wrongly. I’m still trying to forgive him…

This comment is long enough to be made into a post of my own. Heh.

µ:zician: well, u cant really blame them i guess. to each his own =]

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